As I take my first vacation after COVID, I reel back to September 2019 when I went for my first therapy session. I skipped work and did not tell anyone where I was going - like I was out on a secret mission or to commit a crime!
Before I went for therapy, I had no clue what it involved. For all I knew, a therapist was a hypnotist who could read my mind. A 10 min education from a close friend helped me understand the difference. Even after that, it took a year and a huge moment of stress for me to call my therapist. It took a few calls to actually get a session. Turns out finding a good therapist is actually a huge task for many.
Starting and restarting therapy
My first therapy session was me crying for 35 mins non-stop as I processed the grief of losing my dear uncle nearly 2 years ago. The next one, again 35 mins of crying, but this time about my childhood and where my triggers come from. The third session (you guessed it), again 30 mins of crying followed by processing the pain of all my traumatic experiences as a child. I was advised to go for a walk and spend time with myself and not go back to work this time.
All in all, these first few sessions were really helpful because they opened my mind and helped me seek answers to many questions about myself.
Around the same time in Sept 2019, I met my partner - co-incidentally, also a therapist! I had stopped my therapy work after a few sessions, but she explained to me that mental health is not all remedial work. You can also set up goals for your mental health and work towards them,
This was new to me, I reached out to my therapist and started taking sessions again.
What I learnt
Like most Indian households, my childhood involved a lot of physical punishment and abuse for making mistakes. On the other hand, there was no affection to balance this out to make me feel heard or understood in any way. This led to me having -
a) trouble accepting love and affection - I never saw expression of love and affection in my house,
b) being unable to say no to people - I felt if I say no, I am displeasing the other person and they will not like me anymore
My therapist and my partner helped me a lot over this period. I learned to accept love and affection and also be okay with saying no to people around me.
I just want to let everyone reading this to know
“You are worthy of love and affection even though you have not received it as a kid and by saying no to something you do not want to do, you are doing yourself a huge favour ”
This is nothing short of a breakthrough for me.
My journey and how it led me to start a social enterprise
Mental health work has helped me see things clearly, feel less stressed everyday and feel more secure and managed. As I spoke to many people around me about this breakthrough experience, I realised that a lot of people around need to do some work on themselves but are still struggling to take the first steps.
My career has revolved around education, technology and product strategy. I was constantly looking at creating solutions that would bridge the gap between introduction to therapy and getting the help they need. During this time, Daniel reached out to me with the idea for BecauseYOU.
Our first conversation about mental health and what we wanted to individually do in this space was so in tune, that we immediately decided to be founding members at BecauseYOU. We built the website together, created the first social media posts (not great ones!) and did everything in between to start our first Essentials Program batch in October 2020. I attended the next batch in January 2021 and my experience cemented my belief in the work we do at BecauseYOU.
The last one year has been a journey about BecauseYOU, my own mental health goals and being a caregiver to others around me who need mental health support.
A final word of encouragement
Therapy and mental health work is nothing less than magic and just to say it out loud -
“You do not need to have a mental health issue to seek therapy or practice self care”
I know that for years to come, we will keep introducing mental health work to thousands of people around us and keep experimenting and bringing new solutions to our audience.
If you feel you do not need therapy or are hesitant to try it, I would recommend you to
“Take the plunge, start working on your mental health and set goals for your growth. Do not wait for it to get worse. If you go to the gym for a better physique..go to a therapy session or group session to better your mental health”
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