Dear Stubborn Fatigue,
Today, I have finally found the courage to talk to you directly, and tell you that you’ve overstayed. Yes, you have overstayed in my life, and stuck to me for 3 years as glue sticks to paper. But, I am not paper. I am no inanimate thing. I am a living breathing soul, with feelings and emotions; and desires and dreams to accomplish. I have a life of my own, a mind of my own. So, I can’t just stick with you and be okay with it!
From day one, you have been stubborn. You would grab my feet till they hurt. I ignored you. When that didn’t work, you started pounding drums in my head. I took an Aspirin to forget you. But you stayed. This time you decided to settle in my chest, giving me a perpetual heavy and anxious feeling. I again ignored you. But you became horrid and kept me awake at night. For months, I continued ignoring you. But gradually, I started giving in to you. You left me exhausted and anxious, 24 x 7. Because of you, I asked myself endlessly, what was I doing wrong. You played with my mind, leaving me confused about what I should do – take a holiday or a sabbatical. You made me vulnerable.
You made me weak. BUT you also made me slow down and pause. Only because of you, I realized that I was neglecting myself, my needs. You left me with no choice but to make self-care an integral part of my life. And for that I am eternally grateful to you.
Because of you, I know when to switch off. Because of you, I have started sleeping in the afternoons, and it feels so good. Because of you, I have gone back to baking, writing, walking, learning French and much, much more.
Just when I thought I managed to wash your effects from my mind and body, or remain unaffected by you, you cheeky stubborn thing - you re-emerged and at the most incorrect time. But, I am a fighter, as you know. Each day, I have woken up with fresh spirits to throw you out of my life, and today, at the beginning of this new year, I have decided “your time is up”. I am officially throwing you out of my life, and you are no longer welcome here. Please vacate and find a new residence by the end of this month.
Best wishes and goodbye
Purva took part in the inaugural Essentials Program and found a community of peers. Self-care is a huge focus of all our programs at BecauseYOU. Our next program starts in February, 2021. Click here to find out more.