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The Inner Monologue

Updated: Nov 3, 2021

Trigger warning : Suicide

Inner voices, gut instinct, sixth sense, conscience - call it what you may - make for a strange yet constant companion in our lives. Depending on your level of awareness, baggage and relationship with that voice, the feelings it invokes varies. For the longest time, I tried to take my decisions from the brain and not the heart. My justification was that rationality rests with the brain and impulsivity with the heart (a careless approach)! Needless to say, this was an illusion which caused more harm than good.

Thanks to therapy, reflection, reading, confidants and tons of patience, the bond with my inner voice is now stronger than ever. This poem captures a snippet of my journey so far.

My inner voice and I had this strange agreement for long, She tried to hold me back but I dragged ahead pretending to be strong.

She taunts me that I am fixating on that upcoming phone call, She shows me my future is bleak, urges me to stand on the ledge and fall.

She likes to be proven right and often mocks me, Others see through my lies and an imposter they will rightly see.

She tells me